Friday, November 15, 2013




Teacher: If I had nine apples in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands  

Teacher: Thomas, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.

Thomas: I  is...

Teacher: No, Thomas. We say, 'I am...'

Student: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

- What a strange pair of socks you are wearing today! One is brown and the other one is green!

- Yes, that is really strange. I've got another pair at home that are exactly the same.

A man went to a restaurant and asked for a soup .

When the waiter brought the food, the man said: "Waiter ! There's a fly in my soup !" .

And the waiter said: "Please don't speak so loudly, sir, or everyone will want one! " .

Mother: " Did you enjoy your first day at school, Tom ?"
Tom:  "First day ?  Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow ?"

- Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas ?

- No, you can have turkey like everyone else !

Teacher: You have ten dollars in your pocket. If you lose four, then what do you have in your pocket?

Student: A hole !

 - Why was the Math book sad?

- Because it had so many problems.

- Why do birds fly south in the winter?

- Because it's too far to walk!

- I was born in California.

- Really? Which part?

- All of me!

 Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

- Customer: What other colours do you have?

-Teacher: Charlie, you know you can't sleep in my class.

- Charlie: Yes, I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could!

Teacher :   -   What is the shortest month?

Student :   -    May. It only has three letters!

Teacher:   Mary, have you read "Freckles"?

Mary:       No, mine are brown.

  Two men at the station:

- At what time does your train leave ? 

- At two to two. And what about yours ?

- At two to two too !

What does zero say to number eight ?

Nice belt !

 - I really know what it means to work hard !     I saw it !

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